Home Book Musings Pre-Marital Sex – YES or No?

Pre-Marital Sex – YES or No?

by Ragini Puri December 21, 2014 13 comments
 Since the last few weeks, the hallowed halls (read forum) of IndiBlogger have been abuzz with a lot of sex talk. Ah, hold your horses and get those raised eyes brows back in place. Yes, yes, we all know Indiblogger is a family website and the good folks running it go the extra mile in censoring anything that even remotely shows any association with the ‘murky’ world of sex. So why this dichotomy now? Why all this hullabaloo about sex?

Well, the taboo topic became the talk of the Indiblogger town after author Poonaam Uppal tied up with Team IB to learn from the bloggers what they think about the idea of pre-marital sex. Ms. Uppal has authored a 1084 page book A Passionate Gospel of True Love: A Mystical True Love Story an autobiography of sorts, where she charts her journey from a small Indian town to a glitzy American city, and discovering true, passionate love on the way. In the book, Uppal also tries to explain in great detail, her vision about the concept of true love.
Well, coming back to ‘sex’, needless to say, the question got many of us curious and within a few hours, the thread discussing this topic had run into few pages, with bloggers sharing their two cents worth on what they thought of the topic. Now we all know that in our country, a topic like sex is a big, big taboo. Today we might claim that we are opening up to the concept of sex and acknowledging it (Hahah, hypocrites) but still we are still way stuck up in a time warp when it comes to talking about sex. 

You got the drift, right? Talking sex is a big no, no for us. Even Aamir Khan’s latest release, PK, takes a dig at the topic – everyone does it but you are not supposed to talk about it.  Time and again, literary men too have shared their opinion on sex and their concerns about it being considered a tabooed domain.


So discussing sex is a taboo, a 
chee-chee topic, as many exclaim. 

Now prefix a pre-marital to the word and there you go! Sit back and watch all hell break loose. Say one word in favour and character certificates wielding moral police would be out in a jiffy, branding you ‘loose’, a moron with no morals whatsoever. Even an indifferent stand will be frowned on upon, more often than not. So this more or less gives an idea about where we Indians stand when it comes to pre-marital sex.

But what I found most surprising was the fact that so far as the topic of pre-marital sex was concerned, most of us bloggers were sitting on the fence. In the sense that barring a few who thought pre-marital was anti-religion and invites the wrath of God in some way or other, most of us were on the ‘indifferent’ trajectory.

Pre-Marital Sex – A Personal Choice

To each their own. That’s my take on pre-marital sex. 
In essence, almost all religions disapprove sex before marriage. They describe it as an immoral act – something that is impure and defiles the body before it can enter into holy matrimony. But who am I to sit on the moral high chair and judge others on what they do with their bodies. During my college years, I was a assisting a retired professor, working on University books. We used to have long discussions about our (society’s) hypocritical tendencies. And this is what he had to say about sex – ‘You can be the biggest liar in the world, a thief, a fraudster, insensitive, selfish moron and what not – nobody will judge you, but you dare not have consensual sex with another man/woman – for then you will be judged. Multiple character certificates would be issued in a jiffy. You will be a certified ‘loose character’. Your sleeping with someone is everyone’s business here. The word ‘immoral’ in India implies just one thing – sex.’
I couldn’t agree more. Isn’t that way too myopic a view that our society has on sex?

Deciding when to have sex and who to have it with is a personal choice. So long as it is a consensual agreement between the partners and both are clear on where they stand in the physical relationship, the world at large should refrain from passing judgemental opinions about it being acceptable or not.

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13 comments

Sammya brata Mullick December 22, 2014 at 6:32 am

I agree with you Ragini…be it pre / post, sex is indeed a personal choice!

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Rio De La Sciocco December 22, 2014 at 6:57 am

hehehe, what a hilarious clip. very beautifully presented.

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Pankti Mehta December 22, 2014 at 9:04 am

I liked the post but I couldn't see the clip as I'm in office 🙁

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Maniparna Sengupta Majumder December 22, 2014 at 9:07 am

Yes, it's a personal choice after all…. 🙂 like your take on the topic…

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Nisha December 22, 2014 at 9:15 am

Oh yes, Indian is a land of hypocrites! I loved the line in PK, that we will do/talk about everything in public but sex is a big taboo. And I loved PK's reply also!!

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footlooseforever.com December 22, 2014 at 12:24 pm

Absolutely agree with you that premarital sex is a personal choice. I think it is about the freedom of choice of an individual going against a binding institution called 'marriage' that our moral police can't take. In a country where rapists can easily get away with their crime and get married but the victim's 'character' is scrutinized under microscope what more to expect other than hypocrisy about sex. About the article, it was a nice read. Love the sarcastic tone and your choice of words.

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Amul Sharma December 22, 2014 at 2:26 pm

Ha Ha Ha…..i agree with you that Pre-Marital Sex is personal choice……..
good topic…..good post……..

From-
amulsharma

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Ragini Puri December 22, 2014 at 6:20 pm

Exactly Sammya! Thanks for stopping by. 🙂

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Ragini Puri December 22, 2014 at 6:34 pm

Thanks Rio. This video got me in splits the first time I came across it on youtube. And of course it makes so much sense here, given the topic has such hypocrisies attached to it.

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Ragini Puri December 22, 2014 at 6:35 pm

Pankti, watch it when you are home and have nothing better to watch on TV. 😀

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Ragini Puri December 22, 2014 at 6:37 pm

Thanks Maniparna. 🙂

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sloword January 2, 2015 at 7:34 pm

Nice. Not as loud as my post… 🙂

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Partha January 25, 2015 at 8:47 am

The problem is this consent which is most critical here is withdrawn at whims of the woman. The man's consent is never seen and the woman can file rape case any time, even after years. That is how most of our rape cases are filed.

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