Minto aunty is one gorgeous woman. Our new next door neighbour, her face always looks like a flower in bloom. Rose tinted cheeks, perfectly arched eyes-brows, kohl-lined eyes and those pink pouty lips – one look at her and you are bound to give her a second, and a third and a fourth look too.
A self-assured smile always plays on her lips, further upping her smugness quotient. But sir, give her a compliment or two, and all hell is bound to break loose for you. Or so we have discovered. For the patronizing soul that she is, Minto aunty will consider it most humble and obvious to come over and hug you and then thank you for your gracious compliments. And it’s then when the hell breaks loose. For this lady smells. And smells real bad.
Yes, sir, you read that right. Minto aunty, is one of those women who believe in just keeping their face polished. And why not! Who sees beyond the face, one would say. Not random people of course. But then in all likelihood, Minto aunty seems to have underestimated random people’s sense of smell too.
Turns out that during one of those candid confessions session at a kitty party, she candidly confessed that she was not a big fan of daily baths.
‘Oh, c’mon Mrs. Verma! We don’t work in the fields, do we? Why the daily shower then? Plus I always feel so cold!’, she is said to have slurred after a glass too many of fine drinks.
Ah, so the stinky secret was out. Quite a bit of gossip has been floating in the ladies’ circles since Minto aunty’s confession. And of course obnoxious smells too. For those who have had the bad luck of complimenting Minto aunty and then being hugged in return seem unable to get over the trauma, her smelly armpits inflicted on them. And thus quite a few retaliatory action plans are in the pipeline. Kitty circle says here birthday is around the corner. How about gifting her with a year’s supply of deodorant? Or antiperspirants? How about aroma candles?
But then suddenly there’s an idea that clicks with everyone. How about a geyser and packs of body wash? That would make a great gift! Killing two birds with one stone, as you say! A gift that cannot be stacked away in some corner of the house! Might as well set it up on the bathroom wall and make some use of it.
And add to that a group of kids pestering her to put on the geyser, pronto!
Yes, so this is the deal. The Do Good Women’s Association of our colony has decided to gift Minto aunty with a new geyser. A fine birthday gift this will make, and a polite reminder too – what’s with the smell, woman?